Trust

Not trusting in something is absolutely exhausting. For example, being here in the Philippines we had to adjust to lots of things. One thing being transportation; the most common vehicles here are motorcycles with attachable sidecars. The recommended capacity for such a vehicle is four people. We had our first accident awhile back (we exceeded capacity with five people) it was nothing too serious but I do have a bright pink scar on my kneecap to show for it.

Anyway ever since the accident, anytime I ride the trike (tricycle) I get super nervous. It doesn’t matter who is driving. My blood starts pumping and I start to panic. I sit on the edge of the seat, prepared to jump out if necessary and I close my eyes and go to a happy place. This realization and thought came into my mind the other day while riding to the market. My body was tired and I was exhausted from being so tense. My mind started to relate this concept to trust/faith in Jesus. 

Trust: reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence. 

Faith: confidence or trust in a person or thing.

Like I said before, not trusting in something is absolutely exhausting. We all put our trust/faith in something whether we realize it or not. It can be money, family, relationships, success, possessions, literally anything. Even for believers it can be subtle, like good deeds, head knowledge, or the amount of Scripture we know. And none of these things can bring relief. Worrying or being anxious about things you cannot control will completely wear you down. 

Give it up. Jesus is waiting for you to turn it over to Him. Stop fighting and quit relying on your own strength, you can’t do it, Christ alone can. Simple as that.

I’m relieved to say that now when I ride on the trike, I put my trust in the driver. It is so freeing. And the same freedom can be experienced with the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ when we surrender and place our trust and faith in Him.

“It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery.” Galatians 5:1

By grace alone,
Monica

Contentment

I'm in the mood to write and these moods don’t come too often, so I am going to take advantage of it. Of course these moods only happen when it’s late at night and my body is exhausted but my mind cannot shut off, so tomorrow should be lots of fun. I think the Holy Spirit has something to do with it too.

Since my last update everything seems to have started falling into place! We are officially done with immigration, and have our visas. Which is a huge sigh of relief because that means no more bus trips to Manila (I get car/bus sick) but an even larger sigh of relief because it means we get to stay in the Philippines! Thank goodness because ministry is starting to become more regular and our schedules are slowly getting busier. When I say busier I mean it in the best way possible. The first few months here dragged on and on because we weren’t really sure what we should be doing ministry wise. And we didn’t know where to begin, we knew DBS would be a part of it but we still didn’t know how to get things started. The language barrier wasn’t/isn’t really a big help either, but now things are finally in motion. With the Holy Spirit behind that motion propelling it forward. We have a discipleship group that consists of the young adults from the church that meets on a weekly basis. Josh and Autumn have been going to one of the local outreaches to do DBS and love on the children there. We have started doing Bible story time with the kids in our own neighborhood, along with playing games and doing crafts. I’ve had a couple of meetings with some high school girls from another outreach church about discipleship. God continually shows us His presence through each and every one of these activities. The people in our discipleship group are beginning to start Bible studies. The children in our neighborhood are memorizing Scripture. The young people and youth of this community want to see Jesus’ name be lifted high. I’m so thankful to be a part of what God is doing.

I honestly could not see my life any other way. I had been so close to attending a local community college, so close to pursing academia rather than Jesus, so close to pursing an earthly marriage rather than striving to be a part of His Bride, so close to living the typical, comfortable American life. And the scariest thing about all of that was my willingness to be content with it; to be content with the lies that the world had poured into my mind about who I should be, instead of who I am in Christ. I should conform, get a degree, get a job, get married, have kids, and settle down. Now, looking back, praise God that He drew me out of that. Praise God that He knows way better than I do. Praise God for His sovereign hand in my life. Today I am without a college degree, I am without a job, I am without a spouse, I am without children and I am nowhere close to settling down. But I am giving my life away to His cause. And I would not change that for the world. I want you to know that I am experiencing true contentment. For the first time in a long time I am truly content with where God has brought me.

My hope is that you would be content; my prayer is that God would break you of the bonds that are not glorifying to His name.

“Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22

By grace alone,

Monica

Better Late Than Never

Part one of this blog was written a couple of weeks back; I just never got to posting it. Part two reiterates part one.

Part I

Want to learn how to trust the Lord? Come to the Philippines, jump on the Lizardo Bus, and go to Baguio City. The Lizardo Bus is what they call a chicken bus which means you can virtually take anything on the bus with you. The bus is jam packed with as many people that can fit, and however much baggage they can cram into it. There is no air conditioning and very few stops along the way. It’s also common for people to bring plastic bags on board for the sole purpose of throwing up in. On the initial drive up we left at about 12:30 AM. So I slept the entire 8 hours. I was in a seat by myself, and had a few riding buddies. My favorite was an older Filipino lady who used me as a pillow. I vaguely remember the trip there, thank goodness.

We traveled to Baguio to get our temporary two-year missionary visas, but as luck would have it we were lacking a few documents needed. So the process was halted and we will make a trip to Manila soon. The trip at first seemed like a waste of time, but as God would have it, He had some divine meetings in store for us.

While there we stayed at the local seminary and met Sam, a Korean who lived in New York. He began to tell us of a method he was using to disciple some Christian leaders. The method in particular, Discovery Bible Study, was something we studied during training in Nashville and we had been praying for God’s guidance on what ministries to get involved with in Maria. There was no denying that the Holy Spirit set that meeting up to direct us toward DBS being the ministry to focus on. It was so encouraging to have our prayers answered in such a blunt way. So we met with Sam one evening to discuss DBS and the things he had learned from doing it in the Philippines. We also met an American couple at the church we went to on Sunday, who were teachers at the seminary. The couple and Josh and Autumn had some mutual contacts from Mississippi, and the guy went to high school in Mansfield, Arkansas (which is super close to Heavener). It was an awesome and random trip.

On the way back unlike the trip to Baguio where I slept, this time it was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and I was wide-awake. There was a couple of game fighting roosters directly behind us that kept crowing. It was quite humorous. Not to mention the circa 80’s hair band music that played loudly the entire trip. A large cloud of fog rolled through about the time we got started in the mountains but about twenty minutes into the ride it cleared up. Commence another twenty minutes of fervent prayer because literally two feet and sometimes a small piece of guardrail were the only things between you and death. Finally I quit worrying about how close imminent death was and I began to praise God for of His glorious creation. No picture I could take would ever describe the beauty of those mountains. I am continually in awe of what God has created; I can’t help but praise and worship Him. It is how I connect with Him the most. For some people it’s singing or dancing but stick me anywhere in the world and I can find its beauty.

A major happening between Part I and Part II:

We experienced our first Filipino funeral process, that of Nana Alice, our 80-year-old sister in Christ and neighbor. Culturally the process is much different than in the US. The funeral home picks up the corpse, takes it to be embalmed, and brings it back to the home where it can be viewed by family members who come for the Wake. The wake is held for a certain number of days, and is a time for grieving but also celebrating. There is a service every night with a speaker, food, singing, and games. Praise God that Nana Alice was a Christian because at funerals of non-believers there is much drinking and gambling. During the wake members of the family rotate staying up to greet guests who come at different hours of the day/night. The final day of the wake is the funeral procession. So at 8 AM we went to the church for a final message and viewing, then we walked 3 miles to reach the cemetery where she would be buried. Afterward everyone had merienda, or snack, together. The wake for Nana Alice lasted 5 days.

Part II

Yesterday we had the privilege of going to ‘the falls’ here in the Aurora Province. Which as you guessed it, is a waterfall. It was absolutely gorgeous with large rocks and crystal clear, cold water. We also hiked up a small hill to go see another waterfall, which was just as beautiful. Again I began to praise God for his creation. I am reminded of Romans 1:19-20 and will end with that.

“For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For His invisible attributes, namely, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.”

To Him be the glory,

Monica

Here It Is

A lot of flying. A lot of driving. A lot of moving. A lot of learning. A lot of thinking. A lot is changing.

Hello from the Philippines! Josh, Autumn, and I arrived here a little over a week ago to complete the last 2 years of Trek-X. It has consisted of settling in, unpacking, adjusting and getting schedules figured out; along with meeting the pastors of the local church and its many members. The location itself is absolutely beautiful. Right outside the door of my new home: a large tilapia farm, trees galore, herbs, potted plants, and flowers can be seen with any turn of the head. Mountains, flat fields and the ocean; it covers just about all terrain. Banana and coconut trees are everywhere as well as numerous rice fields in all stages of harvesting. The weather right now is rainy and humid, with gorgeous sunsets and cloud formations. The people have been welcoming and excited that we are finally here. The food is grand and the fellowship is even better. The best thing though is that the Lord is at work. The people have such a heart to serve Him and He is blessing that by giving them the desire and opportunities to minister to their own people. Not only locally but globally. I can’t wait to see what the Lord does here through us, and continues to do through the Filipinos. 

But here are just a few fun facts and quirky things I’ve observed. Asian babies are adorable. Toads are poisonous. Cold showers are great. Cobras are deadly. Rain is a blessing. Bananas are served in every way possible. Hammocks are good for relaxing and napping. Filipinos love games. Geckos are fast and carnivorous. Instant coffee is the norm. Coconut trees are fatal. Sandals are always acceptable. Rice is served during breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Cockroaches fly and bite. Filipino workers earn less than 5 dollars a day, if they find work at all. Typhoons bring nice weather.

On a serious note though. Earlier this week my grandfather passed away, it happened just a few days after arriving here in the Philippines. It seems surreal. I imagine because I am on the other side of the world and not home dealing with things face to face. The shield of peace and comfort that the Lord has around me at all times is mind blowing. He knows exactly what I need and He never lacks in providing for me. The word that I keep thinking about is steadfastness.

Steadfast: firmly fixed in place; immovable. Firm in belief, determination, or adherence; loyal.

This spiritual discipline has been one of the most difficult for me to learn. I can honestly say I’ve never really grasped the meaning of this word until now. It doesn’t matter what happens, I’m not going anywhere. My feet are firmly planted. My eyes are focused. My heart is set. My soul aches in readiness. All on the only thing in creation that will never change. Never disappoint. Never leave. Never fail. That is Jesus Christ, my Rock, my Fortress, my Provider, my Comforter.

“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:23-26.

My prayer is that Christ would be your only desire, and that He uses whatever means to make that happen.

To Him be the glory now and forevermore,

Monica

Fresh Start

Circumstances change. People change. Expectations change. Dreams change. Life changes. Loss happens. Peace happens. Routines change. Learn some. Struggle some. Life goes on.

Since my last blog update from October 2010 everything above and more has happened in my life. So much change has taken place that it doesn’t matter how many blogs I write, I will never be able to express all that I’ve been through. So I’ll just hit the important life altering one that stems into everything else. Two months after that last blog in 2010 my dad passed away from cancer. That is when things started changing. I experienced distress and joy at the same time, how that happens only God knows because of His awesome comfort that surpasses all things. Death changed me. Not in a bad way at all, my dad was a hero in my life. I had looked up to him ever since I was a little girl. He taught me so many things; most of them without even saying anything just by an action. Praise the Lord for redeeming his soul and granting him access to the Father. For about a year it seems like I just zoned out from the world. Priorities changed. Decisions had to be made. Stay in Nashville at Trek-X or go home and help my mom? 

The Lord used these passages in Scripture: “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple,” Luke 14:26-27. And “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me,” Matthew 10:37. 

Lesson?

Following Christ is not easy, but He’s worth it. There will be trials and suffering but also peace and comfort. There will be persecution, but there will be joy. Christ precedes everything. And by everything I mean everything; He comes before family, friends, possessions, and even life itself.  Who knew these verses would take a literal meaning in my life. The answer was clear to me. Following Christ is more important. It was so hard leaving home and coming back to Nashville, leaving my mom to deal with the loss of her husband, leaving her to mourn, leaving her alone. I had to trust that the Lord would take care of her and in faith I came back to Nashville. Has it gotten easier? Even after a year I still feel the pangs of missing loved ones. But Christ has gotten bigger. I’ve experienced a deeper love for Him, which would never have happened if it hadn’t been for loss. Then change followed death. Not only the death of my dad, but death to myself. Giving myself to Christ. Plans. Dreams. Hopes. The Future. Everything. Knowing that He will take care of it all.  So here I am. A year and six months down the road. Still figuring it out. Still going strong (only because of Him). Still learning. I just pray that the Lord encouraged you through reading this, and my hope is that you would pray for me on this journey through life and pursuit of obedience.

To Him be the glory forever and ever.

Amen.

2

Since I last wrote it seems like things just continue to get more and more crazy and busy! But that’s okay because I enjoy it :)

God has been teaching and showing me numerous things this past month. Where to begin.

I’ll start with something that God has drastically changed my heart for. There is an estimated 143 million orphans in the world. 143 million. Let me tell you about someone. Katie is a 21 year old single woman who lives in Uganda, Africa, and has 14 children. She feeds them, bathes them, takes care of them, and loves them, these children are her life. These children are also adopted. Katie left everything she was comfortable with back in her home town of Brentwood, TN and Katie lives her life for Christ; she obeys Him even when it is tough, and even when she thinks she can’t go on. Her job is simply to love. Her story has affected my life. Just as Katie has adopted those beautiful Ugandan children, God has adopted me; I am His child through the sacrifice of His only Son, Jesus Christ. He loves me and takes care of me; He is the only thing I will ever need. He is my Father, and I love Him. And because of His unconditional love for me, I want to adopt and love because He adopted me and He showed me love. It’s so hard to describe how much my heart has been changed toward this, sometimes I just think we as people do not remotely understand how blessed we are. I recommend you read Katie’s blog, http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/, and pray for an open heart to let God change it.

Also God has shown me the blessedness of possessing nothing, through reading The Pursuit of God by A. W. Tozer in our afternoon sessions of Trek-X. Through struggles with my dad battling cancer and surviving financially, I have come to terms with possessing nothing. Every single day, I am reminded that all I need is Christ, and nothing else. I don’t need the vehicle I drive, I don’t need the bed I sleep in, I don’t need the roof over my head, but God has blessed and provided me with these mundane things. I’m continually striving to not put my worth in the things of this world, but put my everything in Christ. Honestly, it’s difficult and I know it won’t get easier, but through prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit I know I can get through it.

These are just a few things that have been consuming my mind and I challenge you to look at your life and determine what you put your values in and whether or not they align with the American dream or the Kingdom dream. I pray that you would have the boldness and the faith to cut anything out of your life that hinders your walk with Christ. Write again soon, many blessings :)

1

Yesterday was the official 1 monthiversary of being here in Nashville! There have been so many things going on and everything has been busy! This is the beginning first year of the entire Trek-X program, so we have really been trying to get the schedule in place this past month and settle all the small details. I'm hoping to get started doing this blog daily, but we'll just have to see with that ;)
Every morning from 9:15 to 10ish, although we hardly ever end at 10 it's always later than that, we have Spiritual Disciplines; which include the simple things like reading the Bible, prayer time, and memorizing Scripture (RPM.) Then on Tuesday and Thursday from 1 to 3ish, again we hardly ever end on time but I love it, we study in theology, worldview, religion and cults, and doctrine. But I'll get more detailed about all of that in a soon blog. On top of it all I'm getting my Bachelors degree in accounting online with Liberty University, so I throw all my school work in that schedule sometime whenever I can.
Overall Trek-X has been great! All the information I've been given is starting to well up and overflow. I'm just so excited to get to share with anyone about what all God is doing in my life; it seems like my conversations always come back to Him which is awesome and something I've hardly ever experienced. I can definitely see the changes He is making in my life, all for His glory.
We are involved with a ministry called, First Priority, which is similar to local schools FCS or FCA. We are partnered with other students from the area that are in a program similar to Trek-X only in a shorter period of time. Sometimes people are amazed that this is a 4 year program, but I'm at the point where I don't look at it like that. This is 4 years that I can be changed and stretched by God to further His Kingdom. If this were a 6 or 8 year program I would still do it, I know God planned for me to be here. I'm just looking at the bigger picture. If it means giving up the college experience and leaving things I am comfortable with to further God's glory, by all means that is what I am going to do. And that is something that has been on my heart so much lately; the comfortableness with everything. Possessions, location, status, etc,. I am striving not to be so comfortable with things, I don't want to be. My prayer is to have boldness just like Peter and John in Acts 4. 
I will write soon about the numerous things that God is doing here and the numerous things God has going on in my heart. There is just too much for one post :)